Dear friend, child of the Most High.

May you be encouraged and strengthened through this very insightful message given to you by no one else, but our Heavenly Father.

The new encouragement letter series is entitled “Stuck in twilight.”

Religion created a mindset, which is difficult to explain, but as I have received so I will give.

With our limitations and inadequacies we will try to explain the condition of the countless many stuck in twilight. Being unable to fully embrace the Creator and His light has to do with frequent preoccupation with darkness.

This darkness, which contains nothing at all, but self-identity, which is absence of light, has been manipulated by religion to the most frightful end.

Fright of the unknown and unexplored is the most profound in the human psyche. All it takes is an intriguing story spiced up with a flowery imagination and all of a sudden, creatures of the most grotesque forms come to occupy darkness. During past millennia people passed down to us notions of the supposed content of darkness. Today, we harvest subliminal messages from the gene pool of our ancestry.

The seduction begins in early childhood and continues for a lifetime although it gradually moves from child’s conscious onto an adult’s subconscious mind; hidden fears remain hidden only to appear in the most unexpected moments of our lives.

Prophet Isaiah portrayed this state with these words, “We stumble at midday as in the twilight.”

Why so many stumble at midday as in the twilight? The word ‘twilight’ comes from the word ‘two’ and ‘light’, yet it is understood as dusk or nightfall. What we actually have is half of light and half of darkness. In light we see reality in darkness we ponder upon any possible mystery hidden therein and it is this mystery that causes us to stumble and waver. It is not so much the darkness, which occupies one’s mind, but its mystery.

The fairytales, we were introduced to as children, linger still and a “Harry Potter” frame of mind has been created; how can anyone know the Creator in truth with this kind of mindset? Tales of evil being disguised as good still intrigue us and we easily fall for a scary tale. But those more sensitive ones amongst children will not outgrow it too easily; one of those children I was.

I had nightmares since I can remember and they have gotten much worse during my puberty years and continued on, sporadically, until I turned 40. I preached about God all of my life, but there was hardly a sentence about God where I have not mentioned the devil. The devil theology was so deeply ingrained in me that I saw no way out of it.  And to add fuel to the fire I went for cheap shots just to excite the public. If the truth of God’s word was slow coming and was not penetrating the listener I used the devil to stir him up. And it worked ‘magic’ every time I used it. Especially expressions like, ‘the devil is a liar, he is under your feet, kick him in the soft spot…’ etc. This mechanism I often used to rowdy up the crowd. But it was not the truth, because the misconstrued devil theology is completely false. I was following fools for much too long. Had it not been for His grace I would still lead you astray, like many blind teachers still do today.

After my repentance in 1990 and 5 years later during my 40-day fast and self-nullification experience I was finally ushered into the royal corridors of the most exquisite beauty.

When the Lord opened my mind I started to write the book, “Truth & Illusion” (there was no reformation yet), I was scared. I stopped and did not want to go any further. But He gently nudged me onward. One night He came to me and said, “Benjamin I have nobody to do it. You are the one I have chosen for this task, will you accept it?” What could I say? But yes. The final reformation in my life had its start then. Wow! It did not stop; it rolled like glorious waves of a mighty sea.

First, I was stumbling as at twilight because I wanted the light, but I was afraid to let go of darkness and its imaginary contents, saying, “what if I am being seduced by the devil, who transforms himself into an angel of light. Be careful! Be careful!” These warnings echoed in my mind. I was in tremendous need of His presence and the ministry of my most precious friend the Holy Spirit. Just for you precious friend He is writing it now, only using my fingertips. But it’s just a beginning of a great journey toward the light on the other side. Yes, time warps our true vision of the spiritual reality for it was made only for this fractured-by-it physical realm. Anything undivided is one as our God. Darkness vanishes the moment His light engulfs our beings. And if so, then any contents of that former entity—darkness—will vanish too. And that’s what happened to me.

The controlling force in your life may be the twilight; you are not yet certain of the light or of darkness. One foot wants to move towards the light while the other seems to be stuck in the darker side. You may quote me scriptures. But do not quote them to me with your present frame of mind. The moment your being is flooded with His light you will think His thoughts and see things with His vision and not through the bifocals of the popular Christian theology. It does not take any acceptance of my teaching or someone else’s; it’s a matter of love.

Who do you love more? Toward which realm you want send your feet to, light or darkness?

Remember, twilight works in both ways, only we have called it sunrise and sunset. Twilight is also before sunrise, but the going is toward the light, while at sunset the going is toward darkness.

Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.” John 11:9-10

If you go west, with the sun, you will always walk in light and you will not stumble, not waver and you will see and then greatly rejoice in your sight.

Enoch walked with God. He walked with the light having God-consciousness.(In those days there was no devil theology or devil-consciousness this came much later, it was borrowed from Babylon).

Yeshua said that if anyone walks in the night he stumbles, wavers and often falls, BECAUSE THE LIGHT IS NOT IN HIM.

This is the light I spoke about, even the inner light of His truth and of His revelation. Walk in it.

Amen